(Interior: A small room containing two folding chairs and small card table. On the table sits a grey and black machine no bigger than a shoebox. On the wall hangs a single picture of L. Ron Hubbard, staring blankly into the camera. Two men stand at the doorway, one dressed in typical western attire, the other wearing a long white thawb and short, rounded skull cap.)
What do these five things have in common:
- a Pilipino bee keeper
- zero medical training
- slight retardation
- no social skills
- a fondness for pudding
Answer: they all perfectly describe the holistic practitioner I get my medical advice from.