I know this is going to be old news to most of you, but alien beings are currently assembling near the edge of our solar system in order to carry out a calculated attack on our planet. This attack will consist mainly of disgruntled extra-terrestrials in Romulan Warbirds, who believe the inhabitants of earth would be more useful covered in a layer of cheese-spread and placed on a cracker, than they are controlling a planet.
What if I were to tell you that our government was secretly controlled by a race of hyper-intelligent space aliens called "Reptilians" who plan on wiping out the human race because they hate having to wait on line at Disneyland?
I assume most of you reading this would call me a looney and suggest I stop drinking toilet water were I to state such a strange proposition, but before you roll your eyes or shake your skeptical heads let me just ask that you listen to what I have to say before clicking back over to the porn site you just came from.
Recently I've been stumbling across strange commentaries online and in news papers that lead me to believe an alien invasion is approaching. I know it sounds like I've taken too many Vicodin, which I have, but that's not why I believe this. There are coded messages hidden everywhere that seem innocuous at first glance, but reveal a more sinister plot if you just know what too look for.
I used to drink a lot, because of this I often found myself laying on my back at two in the morning near the side of the road or in a strangers empty swimming pool, looking up at the night sky pondering the notion of intelligent beings from other worlds. I would dream of what they might look like and wonder if all the movies were right about them not wearing any pants.