I then explained that I was a real Christian and could never be duped into believing what their supposed prophet said in his silly book because I only followed the bible, which was very old, making it far more trustworthy then the Book of Mormon, which was relatively new. They suggested this was only the case for the time being, but in two thousand years the Book of Mormon would be as old as the bible is now, making it's contents just as true. I then countered with the fact that when that time arrived the bible would be about four thousand years old, making it even truer than it is today, which they agreed to, but suggested we change the topic because my yelling was frightening the children.
I don't claim to be an expert on the history of Mormonism but I do consider myself to have a pretty good bull-shit detector and I'm not the only one that believes this, both my astrologist and tarot card reader agree. So when I hear stories that involve an angel named Macaroni coming to visit Joseph Smith, I start to get a little suspicious. What was so special about Smith? I bet I could do everything he did. I'm able to pretend to read something I lied about finding, then appear indignant when people don't believe me. I can act like I understand ancient languages then marry an underage girl while getting arrested for illegal banking. I can nearly be executed for treason then get tarred and feathered, as a matter of fact I've done most of those things already, so why would God choose someone so inadequate to bestow so much power upon? The answer is simple, Smith was a big, fat, stinky, liar.
I don't want to give the impression that I disliked these two Mormons (yes I do), they seemed like confused young men sent into the world with a head full of errors and a book full of shit. I do understand their mission, my faith also encourages me to spread the word of God to strangers I see drinking in the park, although I don't because I like the idea of people going to hell. So, I do understand where they're coming from and what they're trying to accomplish, I just wished there was some way I could get through to them that what they had been taught since birth was nothing but nonsensical drivel created and propagated by a con-man, and that if they truly desired the truth they should look to the nonsensical drivel written by unknown authors with an agenda, in the bible.
They clamed to hold the bible in high regard and believed Jesus to truly be the son of God, but that another prophet had come along in the form of a smarmy little brat (my words, not theirs) in the early 1800's, who was told by God to form a new church where you couldn't have a cup of tea but could have a whole bunch of hot teenage wives. I had always wanted a harem and almost converted on the spot, but decided instead to strike them both with a bottle and steal their wallets.
I once heard an old saying that goes, "the first one to get mad looses." If this is accurate I definitely lost at the park today, but I also know of another saying that goes, "old sayings are stupid." So, although I may have lost my cool and am expecting the police to knock on my door at any moment now, I still feel a tinge of pride in knowing that my trust in Jesus and faith in the bible was never for a moment compromised, and that I'm very grateful to be a part of a religion that has to forgive me when I start smacking people around.