I assume most of you reading this would call me a looney and suggest I stop drinking toilet water were I to state such a strange proposition, but before you roll your eyes or shake your skeptical heads let me just ask that you listen to what I have to say before clicking back over to the porn site you just came from.
Lets first look at exactly what a Reptilian is. Imagine an 8 foot tall gecko with a sports jacket, tweed slacks, and top hat, now forget all about it because Reptilians look nothing like that. Now, imagine an 11 foot tall pig-nosed turtle with a bright red shell, sun glasses and a decorative scarf so awesome it would make Johnny Depp jealous. They also often wear a tight-fit one piece rubber spacesuit that looks great from afar but up close makes them look like they've been eating too many Oreo stuffs.
When it comes to temperament, Reptilians (much like my own personality when drunk) can change at the drop of an epileptic, from a pleasant, unassuming introvert, to an ill tempered hell raiser that calls your mother a dyke and urinates in the house plants when your back is turned.
Reptilians are certainly not new to our society, they have been with us for centuries disguised as regular humans as they move about their day; they count among their number Queen Elizabeth, George W. Bush, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Aunt Jemima, The Lucky Charms Leprechaun, the guy who invented the paper sleeve you put over your coffee cup to keep from burning your hand, and Kanye West. These are but a small fraction, controlling human kind is a difficult process and takes the efforts of many Reptilians, so take a look around, that strange guy at work with gills on the side of his head who blinks sideways, may just be a Reptilian.
Why, you may ask am I telling you all this? It turns out I've been asked by the Supreme Reptilian Chancellor himself to introduce the unenlightened of earth to his scaly brethren and prepare them for the coming invasion. His request (which was communicated through semaphore) came to me after downing several handfuls of pharmaceuticals I stole from my grandmas purse, but I assure you they in no way effected my mental state or my ability to potato clock on the picture frame.
I'm sure there are several of you that will find my proposition ridiculous, but I'm not the only one speaking the truth about Reptilians, just Google the word for yourself and you'll see dozens of websites dedicated to their existence and even a Wikipedia page. Who, I ask you, would create a Wikipedia page and put false information on it? The very notion makes the hair on my toes curl.
I understand this may sound preposterous to those of you who prefer to get your knowledge from reputable sources, but I assure you all the information about Reptilians contained on the internet, even that which is contradictory, is the total and complete truth. I know from experience that creating a website and filling it with information can sometimes take up to 15-20 minutes, which is time nobody would waste on promoting false information. I also understand there are many websites that claim Reptilians are not real and using that same logic it must mean they are also correct in asserting Reptilians are nothing more than the paranoid delusions of conspiracy minded buffoons, but I prefer not to believe that because I don't like the way it makes me feel inside and it will never help sell my upcoming book.
As of yet there is no need to panic, the Reptilians still have much to accomplish before grinding us into toothpaste. They haven't yet completed their version of The Death Star, which is being constructed on the dark side of the moon, or perfected a ray gun that turns its victims into that stuff you get in the corner of your eyes in the morning. But these accomplishments are not far off, one expert suggests the Reptilians should complete these projects by early next year, while another expert suggests I'm an idiot for believing such nonsenses. It's difficult to say who is correct, unless your my mother who sides with the second expert.
All Hail Flevon The Terrible.