Muhammad is performing the role at the Firetrap Theatre, a 150-year-old regional theater that once showcased such talent as, Yong Hsueh, a Shaolin monk who pulls minivans with his eyelids, and Pochwy, a Polish heavy metal group that is currently under indictment for sex trafficking in the elderly.
Muhammad is being tutored by retired Broadway star, Scooter Dashiell. A spunky homosexual who adds flair and style to Muhammad's otherwise cold performance.
"When I first began working with Moe," Scooter quips, "his acting was about as exciting as a Vagisil commercial. He could never get a sense of the character no matter how hard he tried. His timing stunk, he couldn't remember his lines, and he kept trying to push me off the balcony. When I see him onstage now, knowing what I do about how hard he worked, I can't help but get a little emotional." As if on cue, several oily tears tumble from his eyes and vanish into the feathered boa draped from his neck.
Watching the Prophet Muhammad perform 'It's a Hard Knock Life' is a special experience, equalled only by zip-lining in the nude, or falling asleep in the pouch of a kangaroo. His voice, although gruff when speaking, is beautiful and bird-like when singing. However, this incredible talent for song was not easily acquired. Muhammad took several years off from decapitating infidels and raping strangers to concentrate on his acting and sing carrier.
"In the beginning I wasn't very good." Muhammad confesses as he sips goat milk through a bendy straw. "Because I don't read so well - or at all - I found it difficult to memorize my lines, but I never gave up. On those occasions when I felt frustrated and worried that I couldn't do it, I
would remember the words of Yoda, Jedi Master and honorary Prophet of Islam; 'Do or do not....there is no try'."
This of course is not the first time Muhammad has played a precocious young girl. In 2009 he landed the role of Gertrude, in the off Broadway production of, Molestation High, a musical comedy about sexual assault. A few years later he wrote and stared in, 'Dare To Dream; The Story of a Gender Confused Tyrant in the Age of Intolerance.' Neither play made it past opening night, with the latter provoking renown theatre critic, Wayne Fisher to write;
"I am assuming Mr. Muhammad suffers from some sort of mental retardation. There could be no other excuse for what I just witnessed."
As if performing on weeknights and marauding on weekends doesn't keep him busy enough, Muhammad founded a social outreach program called 'Going In Style'. A service that provides families with terminally ill loved ones access to assisted suicide.
"Most of the people who need my help," Muhammad explains, "are tired of watching someone they love suffer. I have a big heart and a lust for killing, so this is perfect for me." He begins to grow excited as he explains the details. "The first thing I like to do is make the client feel comfortable. I sing a few show tunes, dance around the room a bit. They love it. Occasionally they're in a coma and don't know I'm there, but I still do it anyway. Once I have them lulled into a state of ecstasy, I sneak up behind them with a hatchet and kill them. Sometimes it takes five or six blows before the head comes off, that gets messy. It's why I give ponchos to the family members who choose to watch."
The violence that exists within Muhammad is nowhere to be seen as he fills the Firetrap theater with the haunting lyrics from "Tomorrow." The audience is lost in the magic of the moment, as is Muhammad. There are few homicidal despots who can bringing a tear to the eye of this reporter through song, but he is certainly one. His is the kind of talent that surfaces once in a generation.
For those of you wanting to experience the definitive version of Annie, you can catch Muhammad on the stage through January 10, 2018. Please visit the Firetrap Theatre website for tickets and information.