I would like to relate a personal story which demonstrates the heart ach and sorrow that unfolds through the manifestation of sin, and the rebirth the heart experiences when God chooses to forgive.
Some time ago a woman came to me for help, her name is not important, lets just call her "The red head in the third row wearing the green scarf." She was racked with guilt over an affair she'd been participating in with a man she'd recently met, we'll just call this man oh, I don't know, how about "the only person talking right now." The guilt of this woman's sin weighed heavily upon her heart, so much so that she ended the affair through text message, which was really cold hearted, but not surprising since she was mute.
Unrequited love drove the man to the brink of madness, he couldn't understand why the relationship needed to end, the sin had been committed, there was no going back, so why not continue to fornicate? God could forgive you now, or a little later, it didn't really matter, He would forgive, that's what He does. But the woman wanted nothing more to do with me.
The man was so distraught he took to alcohol and drugs, he began to question his sexuality spending day after day on pornographic web sites looking at homosexual sex acts with titles like "Bear", "Twink", and "The rusty thruster". He brought home prostitutes of every race and gender, one of whom threw up in the urn my grandmothers ashes were in. He hated himself and often considered suicide but luckily he was a coward, and could never find the courage to put that loaded flare gun in his mouth, and light his head up like the fireworks at Disneyland.
Meanwhile, the girl confessed her sins to her husband who was angry at first but soon forgave her when he realized the man she had been cheating with was so meek and effeminate it was almost like she had been sleeping with another woman, which he kinda' liked.
The two of them spent their evenings mocking the man for being an inadequate lover who suffered from "Micropenis", which is a real thing that people shouldn't ridicule. One in ten thousand males suffer from this embarrassing and crippling disease and although medical science has attempted to help those in need, there is yet to be any relief available. If you or someone you know is suffering from Micropenis, please contact the American Micropenis Association for information about the nearest Micropenis support group in your area, or feel free to approach me with your questions when I'm done humiliating Kerry, but I'm digressing.
The man was aware of this mockery and torment via the many listening devices he had planted around the woman's home, and from intermittently breaking in and hiding under her bed. He knew it was wrong to do this, but the power of sin is such that even the greatest among us is susceptible to its diabolical grip .
Sin has that kind of control over people because it's more powerful then God, it has to be, if it wasn't God would be a real ass-hole to let us destroy our lives over something ridiculous like sex, or yummy cocaine. But what about free will, you may ask. If God prevented us from making decisions that damage our lives, we would never truly be happy because happiness derives from the freedom to destroy all we have by acting impulsively. I'm not so sure I agree with this, I'm willing to bet that an omniscient being, able to construct something as beautiful and awe inspiring as Star Trek III: The Search For Spock, could easily have devised a universe where this was not the case, instead of focusing so much of His energy on insuring I feel guilty every time I masturbate.
One day, as the man stood at the edge of a picnic table, ready to hurl himself into the abyss of the sand box below, a revelation occurred to him. If he could just find a passion in life, an activity that would consume his mind, he would forget all about the woman, he would forget all about the pain, he could erase the lost love from his memory and move on with his life, and it just so happened he already knew what that passion was. He would ruin the woman's life.
He started by kidnapping her dog and retraining it to roll over when told to sit, he replaced all the petunias in her garden with cacti, he painted every second board on her fence bright pink , and with each assault he began to feel better and better. With every can of tomato soup he poured in her swimming pool, he began to feel like his old self again. He had defeated sin with sin itself and returned the joy once lost to his world.
Before I let you all return to your homes to get drunk and watch football, I want you to know that sin is a tricky temptress which can sometimes destroy your life, yet other times be more fun then Angry Birds. The trick is for you to exploit it in such a way as to get a lot of enjoyment in life, yet ensure your not so nasty God decides to torch you, but even if you do choose to be overly sinful you shouldn't worry to much about it because God will forgive you, after all that's what he does.