So, keeping this in mind, it is my belief that the moment God told Lucy to start dropping people into vats of boiling horse semen, Lucy went to Ikea and started fixing the place up.
What better way to piss off God then to take the people He so desperately wants punished, and make them as happy as possible. I'm willing bet everyone in Hell has a nice little cottage and spends their days dancing to Deadmau5 and watching free HBO. There may be rare occasions when God decides to stop by to see if the Buddhists are having their skin pealed off properly, or the Hindus are getting their eyeballs adequately sliced by razors, in these cases Lucy probably has an alarm that warns everybody 'The Big Guy' is in town and its time to start writhing on the floor and screaming like a maniac, but once God leaves to go back to his fluffy cloud or wherever it is he goes, everyone goes back to sipping Mai Tais from human skulls.
I am also very curious in regards to Lucy's life, not just about weather he can use that tail to open beer cans, but what he is like on the inside. Spending eternity in Hell would give me plenty of time to discover who he is as a person; does he play an instrument, has he ever had a girlfriend and if so what do her parents think of his job? When he has free time, what does he like to do? Does he have a dog or is he more of a cat person? Can he really turn into a big red dragon or is that just propaganda spread by God to make him look bad?
It's not just wanting to know about Lucy that drives my desire to go to Hell, it's also about how extremely dull Heaven will be. Who wants to spend forever, hanging out with fat little cherubs playing the harp and listening to God boast about how powerful he is. I bet Jesus spends his days in front of the mirror combing his perfect hair while telling the same stories over and over regarding his ability to heal the blind and the time he walked on water without getting his feet wet. BORING. Just think of the stories Lucy would have, he's met everyone from rock stars to terrorists, I'd love to get him loaded on peppermint schnapps and listen to him tell about the time he gave a fat, pimply Channing Tatum, wealth and good looks in exchange for his soul, or how he inhabited the body of George W. Bush throughout his entire presidency.
And when you really think about it, how many people are even going to be in Heaven? All the most fun and exciting people I've known in my life are not Heaven material. Take my Uncle Kirby, who probably drinks too much and never starts a sentence without using the "F" word, but the time he ran through church naked and pretended to hump the statue of Mary, was the greatest moment of my life, and I'd like to spend eternity wherever he's going.
I don't know if it's possible to be kicked out of Heaven, however if I was unlucky to be sent there, I'd find a way. I mean, how long can someone be expected to praise the name of the Lord before they go all ISIS on everyone's ass. My God, after the first six million years of groveling even Mother Teresa would be pushing people off clouds and strangling angles.
So, it seems to me that if I could choose which place to go, I would pick Hell, not only for the great company and fun stories, but because I don't like to lie, and an eternity of telling God how great he is, would be exactly that.